Where I've been...

Fingers typing on the keyboard is somehow now a foreign concept. It’s strange how this blog has evolved over the past year. What was once heavily riddled with travel guides and hotel recommendations, has now turned into sporadic posts about my favorite quarantine movies and workout routine. If I’m being honest, I think I’ve lost touch with what I want this to be.

A girlfriend of mine recently started a blog about her mental health that’s like reading a page out of her diary, the kind that came with a miniature lock and key that you hid under your bed as a kid. It’s deep and it’s raw. It’s inspiring. I’m caught between wanting to share things that I love and know would be helpful to you all, but also sharing my deep thoughts and feelings.

If I’ve learned anything over the past year, it’s that people are really good at hiding their feelings, especially when they are struggling. Why do we do that? It’s not how we were built. Humans are meant to embrace emotions, to scream when you’re hurting and to cry when you’re overwhelmed. Share that. Express that. Lean into those who you’ve brought into your inner circle and cherish them building you up.

Where does that leave us?

I guess I should give a life update for starters.

It’s amazing to me how few people actually know what I do for a living. When we first moved to DC in January, I landed a job as a Social Media Coordinator for a dream company full of fun people + good energy. Fast forward to March, and I was laid off for 3 weeks due to COVID, then brought back on for 8 weeks thanks to the PPP funding from the government. Once the 8 weeks passed, my hours were cut again, this time more dramatically. Then in September I faced further cuts, this time trimming my workload to 10 full days a month. Needless to say, September was a tough month for me. Suddenly money was all I could think of. In a city where rent is double what I’ve ever paid & a 10% tax on food is so lovingly added to each meal, my heart sank.

It’s weird who you talk to during this time. I cried to my mom and of course my sister. I chatted with my college girlfriends and leaned heavily on Peter. But deep down, it still sucked. Why is it that when people ask what I do, I answer as though it’s no biggie that hours were cut + I’m struggling to freelance? I know why; because there’s always someone who has it worse. I still have a job. My biggest strength is undoubtably my ability to see the blessings and positivity in any situation, but it’s also one of my biggest challenges. I rarely speak up when I’m stressed or struggling because the thought of ‘burdening’ other people with worry is almost worse than the actual stress I’m facing. In all honesty, I thought it would be easy to find freelance work in this city to fill up my other days. It turns out it’s harder than you’d think.

Praise God I recently connected with a local blogger who I shoot photos with on a regular basis, which keeps me busy and expands my network. I also shot a wedding & some photos when I was in MN a few weeks ago. It’s slowly building back up, it’s just taking lots of patience and determination.

Along with work, wedding planning has taken up the other half of my brain capacity. I’m not talking about the logistics of flowers & a DJ or what colors to make the bridesmaids dresses. I’m talking about deciding where to even have the wedding. As you know, Peter and I have lived such an untraditional lifestyle, moving across the country + traveling around any chance we get. So it’s only fitting that for years now we have talked about the idea of getting married somewhere cool with our immediate families and a couple close friends. But after searching through hundreds of venues online, nothing has felt right. Maybe our idea isn’t what we really want. Maybe we want more people or perhaps a venue in MN? It’s weird that we’ve done a complete 180° on our plans. MN is where we met, grew up together and fell in love. It’s so intertwined in our story that it would be crazy not to go married there. So, as of last night, we have decided that MN is the route we are going to take. As for a date, I’ve always wanted a spring/summer wedding, so June 2022 is our current target. Man, even though we don’t have anything set in stone, it’s such a relief to know the direction we are moving.

So, yeah. I guess that’s where my head is at. Life has been so full of movement and changes that it’s been hard to sit down and write it out, but I really want that to change. It feels so good to be open about life and to document my feelings. I think I’m going to try something new around here. I want to write a blog every week recapping the week; what I ate, who I saw, funny stories, struggles, anything really. Use this as more of a diary.

Thank you for reading this. It’s crazy to imagine someone scrolling through this webpage, envisioning me speaking these words aloud. You are the reason I enjoy this so much. I love knowing that you are out there, reading this wherever you are in the world.

Thank you, I love you.

xoxo - Katie