How we decided to live together
Back in 2018 when our diplomas were freshly printed and our post-grad lives were kickstarted, Peter made his way to South Carolina for a career he had solidified before the beginning of senior year, while I stayed back in Minnesota for a dreamy job that I had lined up for summer. The months flew by and stood still all at once. I sat in the window-seat of more planes than I can remember, traveling back and forth to visit my boyfriend whose zip-code was no longer similar to mine.
Although it was tough, we had a plan. We would work at our respective careers and eventually, when things settled, figure out where we wanted to live. There was absolutely no way we would live together before being engaged, if not married. If you know me well, you would know I am a rule-follower. Growing up I was always very cautious, never taking chances and living my life according to what was considered ‘good’.
Fast forward to the beginning of December of 2018, after months of working alongside an incredible team at the studio, focusing my energy on fitness, and enjoying weekend escapades to the south, I came to the realization that although on the surface life was seemingly perfect, there was still part of me that was sad. I missed my best friend. I was discouraged by the flights that stood between us, suddenly making the four years of distance during college feel like nothing. I knew that I was dreading 2019 because it meant another year of being apart, and that’s when I realized how pathetic it was to dread my life when it is just beginning.
Of course we had fantasized about the idea of me moving there, but that was it, a fantasy. Neither of us wanted to pressure the other into something so big, especially if we weren’t both on the same page. But after a while, that fantasy started to become more of a reality.
Our biggest obstacle was conquering the idea of living together before being engaged. I had always imagined getting married and moving into a little yellow house, unloading boxes of furniture and wedding gifts for our home, putting wedding photos on the mantle. I guess you could say I watched13 Going On 30 one too many times. But, after talking it through, we realized that an engagement shouldn’t stand between us living together, and certainly shouldn’t happen just to validate us sharing a home. We would get engaged when it felt right and when it could be a period of celebration, not rushed or forced.
More importantly, we remembered that we definitely shouldn’t waste our lives waiting for the ‘perfect timing’ to move forward, but rather we needed to rejoice in the moments we already had.
We knew that we could live together if we wanted to, we just had to pull the trigger.
So how did we decide to move-in together?
It was a December afternoon when I had my epiphany. I didn’t hear the voice of God telling me what to do and I didn’t see doves flying in the sky spelling out my destiny, I just had a feeling in my gut and I ran with it. I poured my heart out to Peter and we made the decision, we were going to do it. Were we 100% confident?! Absolutely not. We questioned the timing, if it was worth me leaving home, if I could support myself financially, etc. But what it came down to was me realizing that I didn’t want to waste my life wondering “what if I would’ve moved?” or “that would’ve been so fun to live in SC with you”. I didn’t want to let life pass me by without taking some chances and living in the moment.
Within the following 48 hours, we schemed up the logistics of moving all my stuff to the south, telling my parents about the (sudden) move and applying for jobs. Three weeks later, I found myself sitting shotgun on the road to Spartanburg, with all my belongings tucked into the back of my Chevy Cruze.
Now, two years into living together, I can confidently say that it was the best decision we ever made.
My thoughts
I can vividly remember my biggest worries before moving in together: Would he get annoyed of me easily? How do we split the bills? What’s it like grocery shopping together? Will he think I’m funny? What if I’m super messy and he’s super clean?
I was so worried that after four years apart and mastering the art of long distance, living together would be hard. But what I do remember is that on the very first night we arrived, Peter let me rearrange the kitchen, take over 3/4 of the closet and hang my decor anywhere I wanted. My worries instantly dissolved that night as we started our biggest adventure yet. Together.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I know that everyone’s story is so personal, but I wanted to share how taking a chance and embracing change led me to the greatest adventure yet!
Cheers!
xoxo - Katie