They don’t tell ya how hard is it to find friends once you are an adult.

Making friends in college just happens. Usually it’s as simple as your class schedule, your extra-curricular sports, or who lives across the hall! (Hi, Soph & Linds!)

Once you hit that ripe 23 years old and you’re sitting at a job surrounded by people of all ages and backgrounds, you start to realize how making friends takes a little more effort than before. Adding on top of this the fact that I am completely new to the area, and you could say the quest for friends can be daunting. Thankfully, something I cherish about my personality is my ability to befriend anyone without fear. I’ve always felt comfortable around strangers, perhaps too comfortable(?). No really, you can ask my parents, I was talking in sentences way sooner than any of my siblings and never afraid to spark convos with anyone.

BUT, I do know not everyone is this way. Actually, I might be in the minority here. It can be really intimidating for more introverted people to throw themselves into a crowded room and feel comfortable. I get it, trust me most of the people in my life are that way too!

What I can tell you is this, over the past couple years of moving, I have found that the best way to make friends is to put yourself out there. I know it’s scary, but here’s the thing: not everyone needs to be your best friend. There are friends for different seasons and reasons. At the end of the day, it’s just nice to have friends in life because even if you only see them once in a while, it makes living in a new city or even the same ole place you’ve always been, feel a little bit better!

Do some snoopin’

Don’t tell your mama haha but this has by far been the best way I’ve met people. Whenever I move to a new city I do some snooping online. Is there a local blogger crew to join in on? Is there a cool couple with a similar vibe that would be fun to hang with? Are there awesome local photographers?

Peeps I look for:

- Bloggers
- Photographers
- Videographers
- Content Creators
- Fashionista’s
- Small Business Owners

It kinda sounds creepy, like really as I am writing this, I feel Liam Neeson level stalkerish. But, what this really does is helps me find people with similar interests!

I usually start by finding hashtags on IG that are frequently used in the area and interact with people in the community. Of course I make sure this is organic, I’m not just stalking completely random people.

If you are comfortable keeping social distance with your online friendships, then you could probably stop here. But for me, I am really not afraid to hang out and meet new people, so I like to take it one step further…

Grab Coffee

Off the top of mind, I can think of like 6 people I have done this with in the past couple years. Here’s the thing, there’s nothing to be afraid of when asking people to meet up for a cup ‘o joe!

I usually send this message over IG: “Hey girl, my name is Katie & I’m new to the area! I love following along with your adventures, and wanted to see if you’d like to meet up for coffee? I honestly just enjoy meeting new people and would be happy to treat you to some coffee!”

Worst case scenario, you spend an hour meeting someone new and enjoy a latte. Best case scenario, you make a new (best) friend!

I’ve done this across both in the Twin Cities and South Carolina, and it’s brought me so many connections! Like I said before, did we see each other every day, have slumber parties and share our biggest secrets? No. But did it give me someone to grab dinner with, go see a game with or just develop a better online friendship? Definitely.

Get out there!

My second week here I found out about about a DC Blogger Union Meetup on a local blogger’s Instagram Story. I immediately booked my seat and marked my calendar knowing that I couldn’t back out after paying the $10 fee. I arrived to the event far less prepared than the girls around me, whose full-glam and high-end clothing threw my ripped jeans and messy bun for a loop! Feeling extremely out of place, I started talking to the girl in front of me in line, making small talk over the event. We ended up sitting next to each other throughout the night and became quick friends!

Since then, we met up for coffee and spent an afternoon shooting photos together (the very ones in this blog), making plans to do it again soon (or once COVID-19 is over)!

Some places to find events:

Facebook: look for groups for people new to the area, local restaurants with grand openings, conventions
IG: follow local businesses to see if there’s a ‘Ladies Night’ at the local boutique, live concerts, etc.
Meetup: a great app to join groups!

Be open-minded, always

One time Peter, Joe and I (our own little trio in South Carolina) went to FR8 Yard for beers on a Friday night to unwind from the long work-week. This outdoor bar was community style, with picnic tables for seating and a band playing tunes nearby. We grabbed our Son of Peach’s (a staple local beer) and claimed our spot at the picnic table near a young couple who seemed to be there with the same intentions. We casually chatted over the bizarre drunk man occupying the spot across our table and found ourselves making friends with this couple, spending the next several hours bar hopping as a group!

Had we not had the courage to speak up or been present in the evening noticing this couple near us, we wouldn’t have ever met this couple and made these memories!

I know everyone has their own unique situations, but I hope that my experiences have helped inspire you to get out there and meet new people! There is no better feeling than having a community to call home.

Cheers!

xoxo - Katie

How I make friends as an adult