A Year in Review: 2019
The year that everything changed!
I know this is like three weeks late, but as I rang in the New Year I was so kindly greeted with a horrible case of the flu. I never in a million years could’ve guessed how intensely it would hit me and/or the lack of energy it would leave me with. Thankfully, I am finally on the up & up and can sit down to share this with you.
If I’m being honest, this has been the hardest and best year of my entire life. They don’t tell ya that about adulting, or maybe they do and I just didn’t listen, but gall dang!! I experienced some of the highest highs - I worked with brands that I never could’ve imagined, I grew my blog and found my jive creatively, I shot weddings, I saw some of the most beautiful cities, I moved in with my best friend, I laughed harder and danced more, I ate like a queen, and I learned a lot about myself.
But of course, as the tides shifted with changing of seasons, I also faced some of the lowest lows - I missed my family from across the country, I struggled to cook a decent meal which frustrated the heck outta me (I swear I never used to be this bad), I lost touch with my fitness routine, I desperately searched for friends in a new city, my mom faced some of the scariest health problems yet, I had to mend some hurting relationships, I had my first experience with anxiety (which I hope to share more about one day, once it feels right), and at times I was surrounded by inescapable toxicity.
I’m sharing this because honestly I don’t ever really hear people talk about life. Like really talk about it. Most blogs are all the good things that happen - like the time that someone paid for their coffee at Starbucks or something. And 99% of the time, I am that way. But if I am going to keep this as a digital diary, I want to remember exactly how I felt in 2019, not just the highlight reel. I also feel like it might make you feel a little more normal because nothing about this era is normal - seeing the best of people’s lives 24/7 - phew, it’s exhausting!
So here iT goes, a very honest review of 2019!!
January
New Year’s Day was officially my first day living with Peter in Spartanburg, SC. I remember it was 70 degrees that day and I think I feel in love with this beautiful state in the very moment my skin felt the sunshine. My first order of business when moving in was reorganizing the pantry, which included the Magnolia Farms Cookbook that my mom had snuck into the car the previous morning before our trek from MN. Two small notecards fell out of the book filled with familiar handwriting, one from my mom and one from my dad. I don’t think I can explain the feeling I had as tears flew down my cheeks. Their words left me feeling so loved, encouraged, missed and excited.
We spent the month adjusting to living together after 4 years of long-distance :’) I remember sitting on the phone with Maly & Kelsie (my besties from college) while cuddled next to Peter who was playing Xbox, and in that moment I felt the world was perfect. I had my best friend next to me and friends across the country who loved me and made me feel valued.
It was at this time that I had a hopeful spirit about finding a full-time job in the area. I had interviews on the phone and some in person, but nothing felt quite right. Still, I spent most days checking out new coffee shops and applying to what felt like millions of jobs.
January 21st marked Peter’s 23rd birthday, so we headed down to Charleston for the weekend. I started to fall deeper in love with this state and the man I was exploring it with.
February
Luck was on my side as I found a local interior designer in need of some contract work for digital media, which meant I would at least have some income while I continued my search for a full-time role. I spent most of the month sitting in the luxe office, with chandeliers and indie music playing through the ceiling speaker. I poured fresh cups of coffee with high-end simple syrup each day before sitting at my glass desk overlooking the green velvet couch in the entryway. I am pretty sure I entered HGTV at this point.
In retrospect, I think this is when our poor eating habits started, but in our defense, the area we live in has tons of food. In fact, most of life revolves around food here. We went to our first ever dueling pianos (a show where two pianists play any songs requested by the crowd & creates their own explicit versions) with some new friends, and followed it up with some midnight pizza from a walk-up window in Greenville, SC.
We took day trips to both Asheville, NC and Charlotte, NC during February, ya know since they are both about an hour away.
March
As a ‘creator’, I had always dreamed of working with brands and using my own creative direction to shoot their products. It seemed so farfetched, especially considering the size of my following (aka micro-influencer at best). However, it was all thanks to a little email that I landed my first partnership with Indy Brand Tees. They saw something in my work that made them interested in working for trade - I shoot photos and they send me merch.
On a high from my first ever collab, I was eager to work with more people! My job with the interior designer led me to Jeff, a local business owner who saw potential in my work and connected me with other creatives. I remember how incredible he made me feel about myself after our first meeting, he was so complimentary and encouraging, he gave me insight into the local market and contacts to work with. Jeff if you are reading this, thank you. You gave me so much confidence and I owe you!
This month brought more trips to Asheville both for the hiking and for a Ben Rector concert in their quaint auditorium that made it feel like a private show.
I started my job as Videographer for sheen Magazine!
April
This was an emotional month!
Peter and I decided to make our way down to Atlanta for the weekend, which happened to be about a 3 hour drive. We eagerly toured the World of Coca-Cola and overindulged in pop before cheering on the Braves that night, which was incredible as fans of baseball. We stayed in a massive hotel with the most James Bond-esque interior I have ever seen, where we had a beautiful view of the city.
The high from the night before quickly faded as I woke up with 15 missed calls from my sister and a long-winded message explaining an accident that changed my mom’s life. With tears streaming faster than I could read, I found out that my mom was in the hospital after collapsing the night before at KU with my sister. Her heart had stopped more than once, causing her to collapse to the ground cracking her head on the way down. Hearing my sister sob as she painted the image of pooling blood left me hopeless.
Thankfully nurses at the hospital happened to catch the irregular lapses in my mom’s heartbeat, and ultimately advised her to get a pacemaker. Of course my mom, being in her young 50’s was not expecting this life-changing procedure and honestly was less than thrilled about it, but it brings me peace of mind knowing she will no longer have issues with her heart beating.
Three days later she flew out to SC for Easter, a trip we had planned for months. I still don’t know how she did it, but I was so thankful to give her a hug.
may
I’ll keep this one short.
I was struggling with some anxiety at this point in life; anxious about the future, my career, living in the south without many friends. It was really a tough month for me mentally, and I just wasn’t feeling like myself.
I feel like one of the best ways for me to get out of my head is being surrounded by loved ones, and Pete’s parents came to visit at just the right time. I love Peter’s parents. Mark is one of those guys who is witty and always making borderline inappropriate jokes (which just so happens to be my favorite humor), while Barb is very sweet and has such a gentle presence.
We spent the weekend doing as the Doebler’s do: drinking wine & checking out breweries. Peter and I really let loose this weekend, dancing around at Point Lookout Winery and sharing bottles of my favorite chocolatey wine. I don’t think we have all ever laughed as much as we did that night!
Later in the month, Peter and I spent a very humid weekend in Savannah, eating pralines and walking around the city with sweat-soaked shirts. Peter insisted we spend Sunday in Hilton Head, and after an hour of trying to find parking, we rolled up to a (and I don’t say this lightly) sketchy bike rental place. As the only customers in sight, we took our chances and rode off on the bikes towards the beach.
June
A huge turning point for me.
It was right before our Nashville trip that my anxiety was at the worst it had ever been. I remember standing in our closet crying as Peter’s friends were arriving to our apartment for the weekend. I prayed and prayed and prayed that this feeling would go away, even if just for the weekend. God really delivered because after this weekend in Nashville, I felt free. Being surrounded by Pete’s friends (who have become mine over the years) and my best friend Kelly for even a couple days brought my soul such joy! These people flew across the country to be with us, and that felt good. I felt like a kid again. I belly-laughed, I shared hugs and felt loved, I was joyful.
From then on, I have never felt that anxiety again, thank you God!!
I should also mention this was my first ever collaboration with a hotel and oh my gosh. It felt like a DREAM.
T-bone also graduated from High School this month, and man did that feel weird. My baby brother now an adult. I spent time at his graduation party next to my best friends, drinking wine and laughing at our college memories. I will never forget later that night as everybody left, sitting outside with my parents and Teresa (my mom’s friend) having real meaningful conversations in the dark. It was pure and sweet.
Lastly, I went on my first work trip and to LA, nonetheless! I really got to expand my creativity and show my team my videography skills, which felt great! We stayed in downtown LA and I woke up every morning to walk around the city by myself while listening to music.
July
This was a really bittersweet 4th of July for us because Peter’s family sold their cabin and it would be our last time there. Man, I remember when we first started dating and I spent my first night at the cabin. Or that time we laid in the boat watching the stars, sharing a tiny seat with his arm wrapped around me, when we laughed and dreamed together.
Saying goodbye was hard. On his last day, Peter spent time on the dock, standing in the pouring rain taking in the final views of the place that had brought so many memories.
I shot my first wedding of the year, and it just so happened to be for some of our best friends from high school, which was so sweet to celebrate. Oh yeah, Tommy had an accident on the jetski and tore his earlobe, resulting in 22 stitches reconnecting his ear. I’ll spare you the photos.
Once we got back to South Carolina, I had a partnership with The Durham in NC, shooting their hotel which was a super fun getaway!
August
I flew back to MN again in August to shoot my neighbors wedding, which ended up being my favorite film to date. I am really proud of my creativity and the way I shot during the day.
While in MN, I made a quick trip up to Breezy Point Resort, our family tradition, before driving Tommy down to Rockhurst for college. He sat with his legs sprawled across me in the backseat as my parents and I talked the whole way down.
My girlfriend Maly had booked a flight out to visit me in the end of August, and I was beyond thrilled to spend time with her. Seeing her and Peter interact while we sipped sangria in Asheville melted my heart. I’ll always remember the night that we came back to the apartment and played cards with the guys while listening to Joe’s 2000’s playlist.
September
The busiest month of the year!
Peter spoiled me for my 23rd birthday and took me to a local rooftop bar where we shared a charcuterie board and drank fancy cocktails, we even met a couple next to us celebrating the woman’s birthday - I think we were twins.
We decided to turn the birthday into a weekend celebration in Knoxville, TN which quickly became our favorite little city. We loved everything about it, especially the main street where people were hoola-hooping at 11 PM while we ate Chinese in an outdoor booth. We even capped of the trip with a day at Dollywood where I conquered my fear of heights (well, kinda).
The next weekend was the Eagles-Falcon’s game in Atlanta that Joe & Peter were dying to see! It was by far the most fun I’ve ever had at an NFL game. Before heading into the stadium we shared beers at a local pub full of Eagles fans, and chanted E-A-G-L-E-S on our way to the game!
The following week my girlfriend, Crosby flew out from Colorado! We spent our Sunday afternoon in the seat of our local Claire’s with piercing guns in our ears, finally double piercing my ears, after spending the afternoon kayaking at Lake Lure which was unlike anything I’ve ever seen!!
The end of September brought my partnership with Charleston Harbor Resort and WOW it felt like we were on a tropical island, not South Carolina! We ate filet mignon and drank piña coladas for 2 days straight.
October
My parents finally came to visit together & we had the best weekend eating good southern food & catching up over beers at FR8Yard. I loved having them!!
Much to my surprise, I was contacted by Hale’s Jeweler’s to be their social media partner for the remainder of 2019, which was a huge opportunity for me! I was so happy to be considered & thrilled that they liked my photography.
November
I headed back to LA for work and this time had lots of creative control over the shoots, even selecting a boho location for all the interviews that turned out SO well! In our downtime I helped my co-worker launch her blog, drank lots of overpriced coffee and went to karaoke bar where I burned people’s eardrums with my lack of pitch. I think my favorite memory from this trip was the night that Kristyn, Britni and I went out for late night pizza at a bar in Hollywood - we were the only girls within miles that were eating carbs.
Other notes: Peter became obsessed with Mango Habanero wings at Bdubs & my cooking hit an all-time low… it was so bad we threw out my pasta and got gas station hot dogs instead haha!
December
I had one final work trip to Miami. Seven of us stayed in an airbnb and rode around the city in a massive van that looked very Brady Bunch-ish. I felt the sand between my toes and experienced Art Basel alongside friends, which made it a successful trip if you ask me.
I put in my two weeks at work, had one heck of a time at our Christmas party and headed home for the remainder of the month. Peter and I drove back to MN, or should I say he drove and I played DJ, stopping in Indianapolis to stay with his sister and her boyfriend who showed us a great time in the city.
Being home was a mix of relaxing, sometimes dramatic, and fun. I spent break with my parents and siblings, taking over two lanes at the local bowling alley, having 1/2 priced apps at Andiamo and going night-skiing in Wisconsin. This break I really got to see my older brother in a new light, enjoying each others company and growing our relationship, something that has been tough over the past 5 years.
